if it shifts hard sitting still you have a cable problem. once you cycle it from forward to reverse with motor off it should move smooth and relatively easy.
now if its not idling down it wont shift at all or very hard.
idling high could be a few things. coolant temp sensor if it thinks the engine is cold the computer will hold idle up and hold back shifting, throttle position sensor out of calibration could hold the trains engaged at stop making very hard to shift. speed sensor will not shift until redline if at all. idle speed motor not moving will keep the idle were it was when it died but I would expects it to be stalling a lot.
check the display with it running make Shure everything is working and you don't have a check engine light coming on. just a not the check engine light will only be on if it is seeing something wrong. if the problem leaves the light goes out
checking the oil has to be done 2 minutes after running the motor. let me try again. run the motor for 5 minutes shut it down wait for two minutes then check the oil.
I don't know whats in the oil stabilizer but I would not run it. if there is any frition reducers it may kill the cluches.
you can run any oil that does
NOT say enegy conserving on the cercle on the back of the container. the bottom of the circle will be blank
I find 30 w synthetic works best in mine. I run the rotela or mobile one high mileage.
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make sure the oil level is right then we will go from there.