They should pull out the back of the connector where the wires are after releasing the locking pin. Though it looks like there is plastic holding them all in as well from the back - in the picture from post #9.
So we finally got it out and replaced the wires. Didn’t fix the issue. We still have the yellow check engine light on. Flashes hard twice and 9 quick flashes. When I drive it, it doesn’t change out of gear. Any help would be appreciated