I'm not sure where the best place to add this info is, but I had a slightly difficult time wiring in my backup lights. I am using a pretty standard 4 pin relay. I tried tapping the gray wire that runs from the R Gear Position Sensor to my trigger pin (86) on the relay, with the other pins wires as normal
30 - 12v +
85 - - ground
87 - + out to my lights
Well as soon as I would put it in reverse it would kick something out, lights wouldn't come on, and on my digital display instead of "R" it would read "-".
Upon further investigation, the gray R GPS wire is a ground signal for the reverse actuator. So in order for the relay to work correctly, simply jump the 30 pin to 85. So should be as follows..
30 - 12v +
85 - 12v +
86 - - tap from gray wire to R GPS
87 - + out to reverse lights.
In that configuration works just like I expected it to do the first time
Also, the gray wire to tap is under the seat beside starter relay going into the PCM.