P700 Your laugh for the day, on me!

[bamabum]

1st oil change on my Pioneer 700-2 went like this:

• Get all the necessary items together for the oil/filter change-- drain pan; socket set; 2 rolls of paper towels; pet potti pads; 4 qt. of oil; new oil filter; funnels; sweat band for forehead; box of bandaids; set up appointment for confession;
• review the owners manual again to assure that I remove the crankcase drain plug, rather than the transmission drain plug;
• run the Pioneer to get the oil hot (this will be a problem during the whole process);
• Place a pet potti pad (diaper-like pad) on the concrete and the oil pan in place;
• crawl under the SXS, remove the cover plate from the skid plate assembly...uh-oh, the first bolt I tried to remove was so tight it broke off the corner of the cover plate! The other 3 bolts came out easily. Oh well, that stuck bolt will be just for decoration from now on!
• (now remember, everything I touch from here on is HOT!!)
• Get a 17mm socket to break loose the engine oil drain plug, and loosen it a bit to start the oil flow...so far, so good...the oil begins a slow flow directly into the oil pan below. But WHAT THE HELL...oil is also flowing along the top of the skid plate, going forward about 18" and dripping out of 3 holes in the skid plate onto the bare concrete...an unexpected event to say the least! Grabbing a handful of paper towels and trying to get them in place under the drips was a contortionist's best performance! Now, I'm good at cussin', and the cussin' began in earnest about now!
• The oil flow from the drain plug (still in place, but loosened) stopped, so I repositioned the oil pan to catch the big flow and removed the drain plug....oil shot OVER the drain pan, and shortly diminished enough to go BELOW the drain pan...I was like a 1-armed paper hanger trying to get the oil pan in the right position the whole time! (Did I mention that everything is HOT?!)
• Now, to shorten this diatribe, things got better about now, so I removed the filter assembly, installed the new filter and reinstalled the assembly (still HOT). Then I found the thin metal washer on the old filter that everyone warned about! Remove the filter assembly again (still HOT) and put the thin metal washer in place, and reinstall the filter assembly (still HOT);
• AT LAST, ready to put in the new oil...3.1 qt. of the new stuff without a problem...crank 'er up and run for 2 minutes, check the dipstick to be sure I didn't put the oil in the radiator rather than the crankcase, and ALL'S WELL! WHEW, I Won the battle!
• Oh Crap...now I've got to clean up all the mess on the carport floor....Good Grief!
• Confirm my appointment for confession.

Next oil change I'll have a male bedside urinal (plastic) with the bottom cut off, and will hold it in place to direct the oil flow into the drain pan, rather than all over the floor! I always knew there was a use for those things!
(I hope you're still laughing....JB)

 

[500oneer]

That brought back some memories when I first changed my oil on the rincon(same oil plug). I yanked out the drain plug and missed the oil catch pan by 6 inches.