Joke of the Day

ohanacreek

ohanacreek

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4 WEEKS....

A guy goes into a bar down in Louisiana where there’s a robot bartender! The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Whiskey.” The robot brings back his drink and says to the guy, “What’s your IQ?” The guy decides to “fudge it a little” and says,” 168.” The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.
The guy leaves, . . . but he is curious . . . So he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Whiskey.” Again, the robot brings the guy his drink and says, “What’s your IQ?” This time he decides to just tell him the truth and the guy says, “100.” The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser, the Saints and LSU Tigers.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try this robot bartender one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Whiskey,” and the robot brings him his whiskey. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50.” The robot leans in real close to him and whispers, "Roll Tide."
 
WhiteLightning

WhiteLightning

My check koozie light, keeps coming on
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4 WEEKS....

A guy goes into a bar down in Louisiana where there’s a robot bartender! The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Whiskey.” The robot brings back his drink and says to the guy, “What’s your IQ?” The guy decides to “fudge it a little” and says,” 168.” The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.
The guy leaves, . . . but he is curious . . . So he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Whiskey.” Again, the robot brings the guy his drink and says, “What’s your IQ?” This time he decides to just tell him the truth and the guy says, “100.” The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser, the Saints and LSU Tigers.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try this robot bartender one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says, “Whiskey,” and the robot brings him his whiskey. The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50.” The robot leans in real close to him and whispers, "Roll Tide."
That's a good one

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elkaholic

elkaholic

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4 WEEKS....

A guy goes into a bar down in Louisiana where there’s a robot bartender! The robot says, “What will you have?” The guy says,

. <snip>The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?” The guy says, “Uh, about 50.” The robot leans in real close to him and whispers, "Roll Tide."

As an Auburn grad, greatly appreciated


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ChadMarti

ChadMarti

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One Sunday morning while a little church was in session, the devil himself walked up the center aisle......leaving firey footprints with every step.
Everyone ran out screaming except for one little old man.
The devil leaned over to the old man and asked "don't you know who I am?"
The old man said "yup."
Devil -"Aren't you afraid of me?"
Old man-"nope"
Devil-"and why is that?"
Old man-"You see, I've been married to your sister for 43 year!"
 
JACKAL

JACKAL

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FB IMG 1502490284111
 
JACKAL

JACKAL

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trigger

trigger

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Tarzan was swinging through the jungle on his vine when he ended up straddling a tree. Jane found him and took him to the native witch doctor. Witch doctor said 'he's pretty banged up, needs new arms, legs and smashed his shlong'. ' The cannibals eat up all the human parts so all I have are animal parts'. Jane says 'I just want my Tarzan back'. Tarzan gets his new parts and takes them out for a test run...'Boy doc, with these ape arms I am the strongest animal in the jungle, and with these deer legs I'm the fastest animal in the jungle. This elephants trunk, it works alright as a dick but it keeps grabbing peanuts and shoving 'em up my ass'!
 
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JTW

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Tarzan was swinging through the jungle on his vine when he ended up straddling a tree. Jane found him and took him to the native witch doctor. Witch doctor said 'he's pretty banged up, needs new arms, legs and smashed his shlong'. ' The cannibals eat up all the human parts so all I have are animal parts'. Jane says 'I just want my Tarzan back'. Tarzan gets his new parts and takes them out for a test run...'Boy doc, with these ape arms I am the strongest animal in the jungle, and with these deer legs I'm the fastest animal in the jungle. This elephants trunk, it works alright as a dick but it keeps grabbing peanuts and shoving 'em up my ass'!
Lmao.. my dad use to love telling that joke 25 years ago!
 
Smitty335

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That's a good one

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Thats funny!
Lmao.. my dad use to love telling that joke 25 years ago!
Hear the one about the widow and the widower, goes like this, They met in Church and a while on there first Sunday afternoon drive, it was cloudy and the weather a little unsettling, came upon a bull and cow doing what comes naturally, the widower got embarrased and started looking up at the clouds, trying to take the attention away from the bull and cow and said, well it looks like it's going to break off, the widow replied, I hope it doesn't kill the cow.
 
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WhiteLightning

WhiteLightning

My check koozie light, keeps coming on
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A man was walking down the side walk in a shady part of town. A bum walks up an asked for 2 dollars.
The man ask are you going to buy alcohol with it? The bum says no. The man ask. Are you going to gamble it away? The bum says no.
The man ask the bum. Will you come to my house, so my wife can see what can happen when a man doesn't drink or gamble

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