Joke of the Day

[JACKAL]

 

[JACKAL]

 

[SILVER_ALERT]

 

[SILVER_ALERT]

 

[SILVER_ALERT]

The wife left a note on the fridge:

"It's not working, I can't take it anymore !!!
Gone to stay with my Mother"

I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer was cold...
What the heck is she talking about ???

 

[SILVER_ALERT]

 

[Remington]

View attachment 43958

I'm a dyslexic and I think that's some funny s***! Lmao

 

[Yankee]

Yal ever heard of the Indian who drank tea? He drowned in his teapee...

 

[SILVER_ALERT]

Speaking of Indians........ This is not really a joke, but if there is one here, it is on us.

 

[Gator]

I'm a dyslexic and I think that's some funny s***! Lmao

I'm dyslexic too and I'm Oaml!

 

[popeye]

Ever say too much?

 

[Remington]

Not really a joke, if you have dogs, it's so true and funny when you think about it!

 

[SILVER_ALERT]

 

[JACKAL]

A man looks through the hole in his fence and sees the boy next door digging a hole.

The man asked the boy what are you doing?

The boy replies, Burying my goldfish.

The man says, That is an awful big hole for a gold fish

The boy, exasperated says, It sure is, but he's inside your cat.

 

[elkguide]

joeymt33 walked into a sports bar around 5:58 PM.


He sat down next to his buddy JTW, who was already at the bar and stared up at the TV.



The 6 PM news was coming on.

The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.




JTW looked at joey and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"



joey said, "You know, I reckon he'll jump."



JTW replied, "Well, I bet he won't."




joey placed a $50 bill on the bar and said,"You're on!"




JTW placed his money on the bar, and kept watching the scene on the TV.


The guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.




JTW was very upset, but willingly handed his $50 to joey.


"Fair's fair. Here's your money."




joey replied, "I can't take your money".



"I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news, so I knew he would jump."






JTW replied,

"I saw it too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."







joey took the money.

 

[trigger]

Me, Remington and Jackal all drove our Pioneers off a cliff and died. Being the great guys we were, we were all sent to hell. Standing in front of Lucifer waiting for our sentence, I was called up first. The ugliest woman you've ever seen comes into the room and the devil says, you must spend eternity with this woman as your punishment. I was sobbing. Remington was next, same thing, had to spend eternity with a woman as ugly as the one I got. He was sniveling as well. Jackal got called up and out comes this beautiful woman, me and Remington said WTH, why does he get the pretty one? Devil said, that's her punishment!
Sorry Jackal, someone had to be the butt of the joke.

 

[Smitty335]

i got a bid invitation today for a federal subsidized apartment complex for midgets, The name of the project is Stay Free Mini Pads

Talk about me digging up old threads, HA!

 

[trigger]

Why would you bang a sheep at the edge of a cliff...so it'll push back!

 

[popeye]

Why would you bang a sheep at the edge of a cliff...so it'll push back!

That one is so baa'aad!

Sent from my XT1565 using Tapatalk

 

[Gator]

Why would you bang a sheep at the edge of a cliff...so it'll push back!

Hmmmmm.