P500 What did you do to/with your Pioneer 500 today?

[Montecresto]

Here is a version of it...

> Subject: Wife 1.0.

> Dear Tech Support:
> >
> > Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and
> > noticed that the new program began unexpected child
> > processing that took up a lot of space and valuable
> > resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in
> > the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself
> > into all other programs and launches during system
> > initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
> >
> > Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night
> > 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the
> > system whenever selected.
> >
> > I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
> > attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I
> > am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the
> > uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me,
> > please!!!
> >
> > Thanks,
> >
> > Joe
> >
> > Tech Support response:
> >
> > Dear Joe:
> >
> > This is a very common problem men complain about but is
> > mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade
> > from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0
> > is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.
> >
> > Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator
> > to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge
> > Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.
> >
> > Hidden operating files within your system would cause
> > Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.
> >
> > It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program
> > files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to
> > Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.
> > Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but
> > end up with more problems than the original system. Look in
> > your manual under "Warnings Alimony/Child Support,"
> >
> > I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the
> > situation. I am thinking of having Wife 1.0 installed
> > myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section
> > regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume
> > all responsibility for fault and problems that might occur,
> > regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be
> > to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.
> >
> > In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because
> > ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command
> > before the operating system will return to normal. The
> > system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for
> > all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high
> > maintenance.
> >
> > Consider buying additional software to improve the
> > performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and
> > Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install
> > Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported
> > application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible
> > damage to the operating system.
> >
> > Best of luck,
> >
> > Tech Support

JB, you’ve got entirely too much time on your hands....

 

[Admin]

 

[NTCPrezJB]

JB, you’ve got entirely too much time on your hands....

Nah, my friend Mr. Go Ogle is just really quick at finding stuff if you can remember the slightest shred of details about it. My friends Copy & Paste handle the rest without breaking a sweat.

 

[Bastardchild]

Plus wifey 2.0 prolly wont hold your beer as well as she does (see pic that @Bastardchild posted above )

Yes wifey 1.0 is pretty good at holding adult beverages along with me lol

 

[Caper]

I told her the other day I was gonna trade her in for a 2001 model year wife lol. She didnt think that was as funny as I did..

Yeah they don’t have much of a sense of ha ha with those comments. Haha. My wife will let me go anywhere and do pretty much anything. And after 30 years, she knows me pretty well. There isn’t too much anybody could say to her she doesn’t already know. Haha. I think I’ll keep her too.
Caper

 

[Caper]

Here is a version of it...

> Subject: Wife 1.0.

> Dear Tech Support:
> >
> > Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and
> > noticed that the new program began unexpected child
> > processing that took up a lot of space and valuable
> > resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in
> > the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself
> > into all other programs and launches during system
> > initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
> >
> > Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night
> > 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the
> > system whenever selected.
> >
> > I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
> > attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I
> > am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the
> > uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me,
> > please!!!
> >
> > Thanks,
> >
> > Joe
> >
> > Tech Support response:
> >
> > Dear Joe:
> >
> > This is a very common problem men complain about but is
> > mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade
> > from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0
> > is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.
> >
> > Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator
> > to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge
> > Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.
> >
> > Hidden operating files within your system would cause
> > Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.
> >
> > It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program
> > files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to
> > Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.
> > Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but
> > end up with more problems than the original system. Look in
> > your manual under "Warnings Alimony/Child Support,"
> >
> > I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the
> > situation. I am thinking of having Wife 1.0 installed
> > myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section
> > regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume
> > all responsibility for fault and problems that might occur,
> > regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be
> > to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.
> >
> > In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because
> > ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command
> > before the operating system will return to normal. The
> > system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for
> > all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high
> > maintenance.
> >
> > Consider buying additional software to improve the
> > performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and
> > Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install
> > Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported
> > application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible
> > damage to the operating system.
> >
> > Best of luck,
> >
> > Tech Support

That’s tooo funny
Caper

 

[Montecresto]

Nah, my friend Mr. Go Ogle is just really quick at finding stuff if you can remember the slightest shred of details about it. My friends Copy & Paste handle the rest without breaking a sweat.

Nice friends you’ve got...

 

[Caper]

Thank You!

Hi Smitty. I was thinking your friend Andy had a scary ride. I looked at the Mule. Just couldn’t do it. I don’t know how they are, but my brothers RZR is scary going down hill. You’re not supposed to let the belt freewheel so you have to touch the gas to get the belt not to freewheel. Against everything you were thought. Another brother has a Can-Am 1000 special edition something, and that slows down by itself. But that was like $30,000 . So it should. The 500 , if I shift to L going down hill, it just crawles. You can’t do that with a belt, without hitting the brakes. I really hope Andy’s blindness is temporary. Keep me informed. Please. Thanks.
Caper

 

[Smitty335]

Come on over to the 700 forums. Maybe you can wake them up. It's like a tomb in there.

Ok, give me a little time tonight to have some beers, so I can invent bad things to say about the P7, Watch that Forum later, bet I can get them fired up, HA!

 

[Smitty335]

Here is a version of it...

> Subject: Wife 1.0.

> Dear Tech Support:
> >
> > Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and
> > noticed that the new program began unexpected child
> > processing that took up a lot of space and valuable
> > resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in
> > the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself
> > into all other programs and launches during system
> > initialization, where it monitors all other system activity.
> >
> > Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night
> > 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the
> > system whenever selected.
> >
> > I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
> > attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I
> > am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the
> > uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me,
> > please!!!
> >
> > Thanks,
> >
> > Joe
> >
> > Tech Support response:
> >
> > Dear Joe:
> >
> > This is a very common problem men complain about but is
> > mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade
> > from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0
> > is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.
> >
> > Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator
> > to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge
> > Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.
> >
> > Hidden operating files within your system would cause
> > Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.
> >
> > It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program
> > files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to
> > Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.
> > Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but
> > end up with more problems than the original system. Look in
> > your manual under "Warnings Alimony/Child Support,"
> >
> > I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the
> > situation. I am thinking of having Wife 1.0 installed
> > myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section
> > regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume
> > all responsibility for fault and problems that might occur,
> > regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be
> > to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.
> >
> > In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because
> > ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command
> > before the operating system will return to normal. The
> > system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for
> > all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high
> > maintenance.
> >
> > Consider buying additional software to improve the
> > performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and
> > Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install
> > Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported
> > application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible
> > damage to the operating system.
> >
> > Best of luck,
> >
> > Tech Support

That's FUNNY!

 

[Smitty335]

Haha, just start stirring slowly. Lol
Caper

Naw not my style! Both barrels! HA!

 

[Montecresto]

Ok, give me a little time tonight to have some beers, so I can invent bad things to say about the P7, Watch that Forum later, bet I can get them fired up, HA!

Easy now.....

 

[Smitty335]

Easy now.....

HA!

 

[trigger]

Ok, give me a little time tonight to have some beers, so I can invent bad things to say about the P7, Watch that Forum later, bet I can get them fired up, HA!

Tell them it's a boat anchor, the size of a P1 and the HP of a P5...that'll get them going!

 

[Caper]

Ok, give me a little time tonight to have some beers, so I can invent bad things to say about the P7, Watch that Forum later, bet I can get them fired up, HA!

Lol. I will. And remember the rubber band. Haha. The guys that don’t own Honda’s, don’t like that. Haha. Oh well. Have a great night.
Caper

 

[Smitty335]

Tell them it's a boat anchor, the size of a P1 and the HP of a P5...that'll get them going!

That's were I was headed, HA!

 

[Mudder]

“I can see clearly now the rain is gone” . Double wipers installed today.

 

[Caper]

“I can see clearly now the rain is gone” . Double wipers installed today.

View attachment 106776

Nice. I’ve been debating on at least one. I’ve been worried since my first Honda windshield cracked at the top hinges. I worked with polycarbonate at work. Many times, even to teach other guys. New bit and no chips. Haha. Are your wipers power or hand power. They look good. Can hardly see them. If your windshield stays good, I’ll put one in. Haha. Good luck Mudder. I have a long handle squeegee that I can reach out my side and get over half. But it’s a pain in the ass. Better than nothing in the rain.
Caper

 

[Smitty335]

Nice. I’ve been debating on at least one. I’ve been worried since my first Honda windshield cracked at the top hinges. I worked with polycarbonate at work. Many times, even to teach other guys. New bit and no chips. Haha. Are your wipers power or hand power. They look good. Can hardly see them. If your windshield stays good, I’ll put one in. Haha. Good luck Mudder. I have a long handle squeegee that I can reach out my side and get over half. But it’s a pain in the ass. Better than nothing in the rain.
Caper

I got some Rain X for plastic, we will see?

 

[Montecresto]

Tell them it's a boat anchor, the size of a P1 and the HP of a P5...that'll get them going!

They’re sensitive over there. I never criticize the Pioneer 700 in the 700 forums...

 

[Mudder]

Hand operated (red knobs). Single hole, like how 18 inch goes to top of windshield. Hard to justify the higher price difference with my infrequent need. Edit: @trigger influence, never ends.