Wife </> can't let you go anywhere </> ALONE
JenElio
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Took the machine out to the sand pit to shoot some targets, just the 9mm and AR. No big deal, after hours so nobody's out there. While we were shooting the wife pointed out some animals fighting over a carcass about 100 yds away. Don't know what they were, some kind of sand animal but they were pretty big. Then we noticed there was more of them gathering, almost like they were being drawn in by the noise. Before you know it there were tons of them out there, not coming any closer as we were being quiet, but waiting. The wife was starting to cry and get a little hysterical so I slapped her to calm her down.
I knew as soon as they heard the machine start they'd be coming after us so I prepared the best I could. Wouldn't be able to shoot out of the cab very well so I jumped in the bed. Had to somehow strap in so I wouldn't fall out and to keep the gun from bouncing around so I rigged a couple straps to the nerf bars, one holding me tight to the cab and the other keeping the bipod of the AR tight to the roof. Also put on my bug eye goggles and one side of my cowboy hat kept blowing down so I pinned it up so I wouldn't be distracted. Told the wife to buckle up and once she got it started to hammer through the gears and don't let off the gas.
Sure enough when the engine started they started charging us. The wife must've been scared to death because she was catching air through those sand dunes as I wheeled left and right throwing lead. It was a blood bath but we made it out.
After we got home we were cleaning all the brass out of the bed and counting our blessings that we had those nerf bars to rig up to. Was still pissed bc I went through way more .223 than I wanted to, had holes in the side of my cowboy hat now and my back was kind of sore. 😏
I knew as soon as they heard the machine start they'd be coming after us so I prepared the best I could. Wouldn't be able to shoot out of the cab very well so I jumped in the bed. Had to somehow strap in so I wouldn't fall out and to keep the gun from bouncing around so I rigged a couple straps to the nerf bars, one holding me tight to the cab and the other keeping the bipod of the AR tight to the roof. Also put on my bug eye goggles and one side of my cowboy hat kept blowing down so I pinned it up so I wouldn't be distracted. Told the wife to buckle up and once she got it started to hammer through the gears and don't let off the gas.
Sure enough when the engine started they started charging us. The wife must've been scared to death because she was catching air through those sand dunes as I wheeled left and right throwing lead. It was a blood bath but we made it out.
After we got home we were cleaning all the brass out of the bed and counting our blessings that we had those nerf bars to rig up to. Was still pissed bc I went through way more .223 than I wanted to, had holes in the side of my cowboy hat now and my back was kind of sore. 😏
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The wife tells me all the time there's something very wrong with me, lol. She reads some of these too, always keys in on certain things. Like the beef jerky, she just shakes her head and says where do you come up with this stuff. She really liked when I slapped her too, again I got a look of wth? Worst was the Carrie Underwood one, got the tight lipped stink eye for that one.
Just stupid sh** I find funny and hope others do too.
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Took the machine out into the high country yesterday. Came around a curve and saw one of those 4 seater limo machines teetering on the ledge of a really long drop. Older couple in the front and a teenager in the back. They were scared to death and not moving. Knew the big limo would just pull the little P5 right over the edge with it if I hooked to the front or back of the machine so I quickly pulled up into the trees a little and parked sideways. Grabbed their winch cable and hooked it to the nerf bar. The P5 was being pulled sideways but got hung up on some trees, at one point I thought they were going to bend my machine in half. I'm sure the nerf on the other side was helping too, structurally anyway.
Turns out they were rich people from FL. on a guided tour. I asked where the guide was and apparently he had went for help. He looked like an old golfer guy with orangish hair and his wife was pretty hot for an older lady, kind of squinty eyes and had an accent. They were very thankful and offered me a stay at some resort he owns down there but I wouldn't hear of it and said I was just glad to help. Bout the time we were leaving the guide showed up with the help. Saw the rich guy point at him and tell him he was fired. 😏
Turns out they were rich people from FL. on a guided tour. I asked where the guide was and apparently he had went for help. He looked like an old golfer guy with orangish hair and his wife was pretty hot for an older lady, kind of squinty eyes and had an accent. They were very thankful and offered me a stay at some resort he owns down there but I wouldn't hear of it and said I was just glad to help. Bout the time we were leaving the guide showed up with the help. Saw the rich guy point at him and tell him he was fired. 😏
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Took the machine out yesterday and put some miles on, the long trail. Running out of daylight we were beating ass to get back to the trailhead and came across a loaded 4 seater stuck in a mudhole. Three guys and a girl inside and none of them were doing anything, like they didn't mind being there. Couple of them had drumsticks and were just drumming on the rops. They were headed in the other direction so I wheeled around and pulled them out, no help from them. Now on dry ground they all got out and came over to my machine. Kind of made me feel uncomfortable, they were close talkers, didn't wear socks and the girl was creepiest of all. Asked them where they were headed and they said to the trailhead. Told them they were heading down the wrong path and that the trailhead was the other way but they wouldn't listen and insisted they were going the right way.
Anyway, as we were leaving I accidentally bumped their machine with the nerf bar and knocked it back into the hole, just kept going this time. 😏
Anyway, as we were leaving I accidentally bumped their machine with the nerf bar and knocked it back into the hole, just kept going this time. 😏
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Took the machine for a ride up the backside of the ski hill yesterday. Pretty steep but the trail winds back and forth so it's a gradual climb. Finally got to the top and with all the snow gone there was no one up there. Kicked back snacking on some chili cheese fritos when all of a sudden the sky turned black, thundering and lightning and it started pouring. We had to get off this thing now! As I was finishing my fritos I noticed the rain washing down the toboggan run like a waterfall, had an idea and inched up to it. The wife started screaming and freaking out when she realized what I was going to do, had to raise my hand to quiet her down. Put it in low gear and headed in. Picked up speed in a hurry as we were sliding down the mud waterfall, had a couple tight curves that I thought we might go over the wall but the nerfs just kept bumping us back into the slot. The G forces were incredible, like a rollercoaster and we made it down the hill in minutes. Came home and watched the last half of Twister. 😏
Mudder
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Another NERF public service episode, preventing them from getting lost further than they already were.
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Old Ironsides '21.
Added a couple things over this past winter, hood scoop, painted seats, under dash storage and nerfs. Two new batteries, new K&N filter, changed the gear oil in the diffs and a Honda full synthetic oil change. Did a thorough scrubbing on it today, Simple Green and a soft brush, lot of soap and water and wiping down. Finished off with some SC1, first time I've ever used it and it's the sh**! Turns the black plastics black again. It's not going to get any cleaner than this for the rest of the year so I took some glam shots.
Ready to ride.
Added a couple things over this past winter, hood scoop, painted seats, under dash storage and nerfs. Two new batteries, new K&N filter, changed the gear oil in the diffs and a Honda full synthetic oil change. Did a thorough scrubbing on it today, Simple Green and a soft brush, lot of soap and water and wiping down. Finished off with some SC1, first time I've ever used it and it's the sh**! Turns the black plastics black again. It's not going to get any cleaner than this for the rest of the year so I took some glam shots.
Ready to ride.
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Have posted pics in the Ride of the Month contest for yrs and never even came close to winning. First time I entered with nerf bars on and guess what? Coincidence, I think not. 😏
Mudder
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SC-1 Pro-tip. Do not spray it on a car’s dashpad. Did that on my Mustang’s black dashpad and if reflects like a mirror on the windshield making it hard to see. Already on a simple green scrub x2 trying to get it off.
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Took the machine for a ride out in the back country after a hard rain yesterday, muddy as hell but made for no dust. Was passing by this old hospital out there up on a hill, not very big but the only one for about a 50 mile radius. Noticed an ambulance with its lights on sitting at the bottom of the drive and someone frantically waving me over. Turns out the road was washed over by a mudslide and they couldn't get up there. Said they had a patient having a heart attack and had to get him up there fast. Two EMT's carried him out and put him in the passenger seat and then climbed onto the nerf bars, one on each side. One was holding an IV bag and the other working an air bag.
Told them it was going to be a bumpy ride and to lock their feet into the space between the bars. Had a good run at it and hammered it up that hill. It was one helluva ride, breaking traction in the rear you could feel the locker pulling from the front and chewing its way through the rutted mess. Hitting clumps of who knows what it was like a rodeo ride but we made it to the top. Emergency personnel came rushing out to get him on a gurney but when lifting him out he let out a huge burp. Turns out it was just indigestion from eating too many pot stickers and the rough ride worked it out of him.
Just glad he was okay and I was there to help. 😏
Told them it was going to be a bumpy ride and to lock their feet into the space between the bars. Had a good run at it and hammered it up that hill. It was one helluva ride, breaking traction in the rear you could feel the locker pulling from the front and chewing its way through the rutted mess. Hitting clumps of who knows what it was like a rodeo ride but we made it to the top. Emergency personnel came rushing out to get him on a gurney but when lifting him out he let out a huge burp. Turns out it was just indigestion from eating too many pot stickers and the rough ride worked it out of him.
Just glad he was okay and I was there to help. 😏
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Had my foot propped up on my muddy tire while shooting the sh** on a trail the other day. Slipped off but landed on the nerf. Didn't spill any of my M&M peanuts. 😏
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Took my little grand daughter for a ride in the machine down to the park the other morning. She got some new roller skates for her birthday and wanted to try them out. Saw people standing all around when we got there and realized some hooligans must've had a party there or something the night before and trashed the place. Garbage everywhere, broken glass in the skate area and basketball courts, saw one custodian guy out there trying to clean it all up. Looking at those kids faces and my grand daughter welling up, got pissed and wasn't having it! Ran back to the house and took the handles off some push brooms, rigged the brushes onto a 5 foot 2x6, drilled some holes in the top and headed back to the park. Tie wired it under the machine to the nerf bars in several places and got to work. Only took about an hour to get the heavy stuff pushed to the sides and the park was open.
We were treated like hero's all day, got a free yearly pass sticker and all the Eskimo pies we could eat while we were there. I was stuffed and she puked all over herself and the passenger seat on the ride home. Caught hell from her parents when we got back but had a great day and made some memories thanks to the nerfs. 😏
We were treated like hero's all day, got a free yearly pass sticker and all the Eskimo pies we could eat while we were there. I was stuffed and she puked all over herself and the passenger seat on the ride home. Caught hell from her parents when we got back but had a great day and made some memories thanks to the nerfs. 😏
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Used to scar and abuse trees, with nerfs it's like giving them a hug. 😏
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Me and the o'lady renewed our vows the other day with a redneck wedding. Rode the rest of the day with cans tied to the nerfs. It was cool. 😏
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Took the machine to one of our favorite riding places we call the mountain. It's a climb and descent through about every situation you could think of. There's some wide trails for the bigger machines and several quad trails. All have long hill climbs, whoops, mud, rocks, tight switch backs and low hangers. You're going to get bumps and bruises regardless of how you drive and honestly, everything I've done to Ironsides was to conquer this trail.
We were sitting at the bottom, where everyone gathers, munching on some leftover chicken the wife brought. She puts it in one of those disposable bread pans and wraps it in foil. (Tuck it behind the shield and it keeps it warm.) Anyway, there was some ass clown and his mean ol' hound dog down there standing on a stump, hollering at everybody that he'd bet anything that his sxs could beat any other up and down that mtn. He was an evil looking bastard too, small goatee and I swore he had fangs, but you'll find some bad dental work when you get into these areas of backwoods. I took a look at his machine, don't know what it was but it looked big and fast and had shiny gold nerf bars on it. I was checking those out, looked just like mine but with a longer front tube, was pondering how easy it'd be to cut and fit them on mine. He kept flapping his jaws and it was really getting out of hand, insulting people and being rude. Told him to pipe down or I'd smoke his ass up and down that mtn. He started yelling directly at me, telling me to put my money where my mouth was. Told him there was nothing he had worth anything to me, other than maybe those nerf bars. He said "you're on and I'll race you for those boots". My boots? They're brand new Irish Setters that the wife just bought me for Christmas. Would've said no way, and I know I shouldn't let it, but his jabs and insults got under my skin. I told him "it's on"! Felt the wife poke me in the ribs, turned to her giving me a glare and said that if I lost those boots I was cut off for a month.
When I brought the P5 up to the line, he and his minions were yukking it up. No way was that junk ass little Honda going to beat his turbo'd racer with 20" of suspension travel. What he didn't know is that the 50" trails cut quite a bit of distance off the run so I had a legitimate shot. When we fired up the machines sparks flew from his snorkel tips and it was intimidating but I had too much riding on it to be scared. When the shotgun went off he threw rooster tails bigger than I'd ever seen. He was way ahead of me when I broke off into the quad trails. The extended A arms and BH 28's gave me the clearance I needed to get through the rocks and deep mud. The WE's ate up the whoops and when I took it airborne. The HMF, K&N and Dobeck were giving me that mid range power I needed and the torq locker was chewing its way through everything. Never been through there that fast and the nerfs really saved my hide, bouncing and sliding off trees, they kept me from getting hung up. It did take its toll on them though, bending one of them really bad.
When I came screaming into that last stretch I could hear him behind me. He came rolling in with his head hung low, he knew he'd been beat. His minions unbolted the gold nerf bars and were apologizing as they loaded them in my bed. Told him I'd be around if he ever wanted to try it again but "don't forget you sum b****, this is the best 50" sxs there's ever been".
P.S. Bolted the new nerfs on, looked just like the old ones except gold. Didn't care for the color contrast so painted em black. 😏
We were sitting at the bottom, where everyone gathers, munching on some leftover chicken the wife brought. She puts it in one of those disposable bread pans and wraps it in foil. (Tuck it behind the shield and it keeps it warm.) Anyway, there was some ass clown and his mean ol' hound dog down there standing on a stump, hollering at everybody that he'd bet anything that his sxs could beat any other up and down that mtn. He was an evil looking bastard too, small goatee and I swore he had fangs, but you'll find some bad dental work when you get into these areas of backwoods. I took a look at his machine, don't know what it was but it looked big and fast and had shiny gold nerf bars on it. I was checking those out, looked just like mine but with a longer front tube, was pondering how easy it'd be to cut and fit them on mine. He kept flapping his jaws and it was really getting out of hand, insulting people and being rude. Told him to pipe down or I'd smoke his ass up and down that mtn. He started yelling directly at me, telling me to put my money where my mouth was. Told him there was nothing he had worth anything to me, other than maybe those nerf bars. He said "you're on and I'll race you for those boots". My boots? They're brand new Irish Setters that the wife just bought me for Christmas. Would've said no way, and I know I shouldn't let it, but his jabs and insults got under my skin. I told him "it's on"! Felt the wife poke me in the ribs, turned to her giving me a glare and said that if I lost those boots I was cut off for a month.
When I brought the P5 up to the line, he and his minions were yukking it up. No way was that junk ass little Honda going to beat his turbo'd racer with 20" of suspension travel. What he didn't know is that the 50" trails cut quite a bit of distance off the run so I had a legitimate shot. When we fired up the machines sparks flew from his snorkel tips and it was intimidating but I had too much riding on it to be scared. When the shotgun went off he threw rooster tails bigger than I'd ever seen. He was way ahead of me when I broke off into the quad trails. The extended A arms and BH 28's gave me the clearance I needed to get through the rocks and deep mud. The WE's ate up the whoops and when I took it airborne. The HMF, K&N and Dobeck were giving me that mid range power I needed and the torq locker was chewing its way through everything. Never been through there that fast and the nerfs really saved my hide, bouncing and sliding off trees, they kept me from getting hung up. It did take its toll on them though, bending one of them really bad.
When I came screaming into that last stretch I could hear him behind me. He came rolling in with his head hung low, he knew he'd been beat. His minions unbolted the gold nerf bars and were apologizing as they loaded them in my bed. Told him I'd be around if he ever wanted to try it again but "don't forget you sum b****, this is the best 50" sxs there's ever been".
P.S. Bolted the new nerfs on, looked just like the old ones except gold. Didn't care for the color contrast so painted em black. 😏
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